It sure didn’t take long — #12 has already stolen and eaten all the chocolates from one of the calenders. My goodness, she set a new record here in Triangleville. Usually it’s closer to a week before they start disappearing.
And, continuing on my loopy road to nowhere, I took a couple of my kids to a long promised movie the other night, and who was in the front of the line up for “Twilight”? You guessed it – #6. There he was, in his new clothes, munching on a large size (aka expensive) popcorn and smiling away at me, so happy to run into us. Well, I bit what’s left of my tongue and didn’t say “Why are you buying clothes you don’t need? Why are you going to movies? All this when you have been laid off after only 8 days of work with no job prospects on the horizon?” Nope, didn’t say any of that. I just smiled and went into my movie. There just isn’t any point in saying anything. His fasd is showing itself to be worse than we had thought – lots of what we had put down to attitude and non-compliance is so clearly just burned out brained areas from the pre-natal exposure and worn out brain areas from the pre-placement trauma. Well, #5 and #7 are talking about looking for jobs in the North (that mystical land where jobs flow like honey and all is right with the world). If they do actually go, I’ll see if I can persuade them to take #6 with them – I hear movies and popcorn are really expensive up there so maybe it will slow him down!
On the positive side- lots of good going on with the younger 7. Party boy is going to school regularly and not doing much that he shouldn’t. I don’t talk about the Mood Swing Queen anymore because her friends read my blog, but I will say that she is doing quite well in all areas of her life. And, the Littles are all working hard at school and succeeding at various levels. They are also ramping up their skills in sports and building lots of self-esteem which is often so elusive for the rest of my kids. Little #13 has been studying hard this week for a test. Wow, that was a shock – a child who studies – I haven’t had one of thse for a couple of decades. It took me a while to figure out what she was doing!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Those last two sentences made me laugh!
The six year old (one of four siblings I’m fostering) does his homework in record time (ususally w/in the hour after I pick him up and have to go pick up the eldest) and many times he does a big portion of the packet at at time and finishes it way before it’s due which has earned him the privilege of doing his homework wherever he pleases (two days ago I found him under the table…whatever…he does it!LOL) – I haven’t had one like him in many years…actually…he’s my first!LOL
Nothing I did could make my daughter understand that if you finish your work fast you are done and have the rest of the day or that if you study you get good grades which equal to more privileges, freedoms, trust and a better future for yourself but I don’t know if it’s the RAD (control issues) or the prenatal drug exposure or just “our times” (because one of my neices and my best friend’s daughter drag their feet too and there are not known “issues” there) but I’m still struggling w/ her. Recently she lied about some project then got made AT ME because I caught her and had to work on it during the weekend…yeah….the six year old is a blur he’s so hyper but it’s such a treat to not have homework related issues I can hardly contain myself!LOL
November 24th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I have struggled with symptoms of fasd all my life, I am 37 years old now and have a wife who keeps me in control, but I do remember out of high school, buying things with money that I did not have, new clothes, new furniture for my aptatment, lots of things, by the time i was 23 years old I was $30,000 in debt. I wish I had the magic solution for you because i worry about this with my daughter also as she gets older and moves out on her own. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
November 24th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
“that mystical land where jobs flow like honey and all is right with the world” – Oh my goodness, you are hilarious. I cannot stop laughing here. It sounds just like my kids and their crazy ideas. Yep, if only we didn’t force them to grow up in such a financially repressed area all would be right – oops, I guess I can’t laugh about that since I live in MICHIGAN and I am very financially repressed right now (ok, bad example, but you get it, I’m sure).
You have such self-control!! I probably would have tried to get #6 to pay for my ticket since he is so flush with cash. My 15 yo keeps saying “money means nothing to me, I don’t want it, I don’t need it, I’ll be just fine without any”. This is in response to any and all inquiries we make as to how he plans to support himself when he turns 18 (and immediately moves out – his plan). We’ve called his bluff several times and he always manages to get people to give him the things we’re trying to get him to earn – so this lesson will take awhile to sink in (if ever since it sounds like all of the non-compliance we’re seeing isn’t just plain attitude and stubborness on his part).
My 16 yo just figured out that if she studies a little each day, her grades improve!! Whodathunk? She seems genuinely amazed by this (like she’s the first one to ever experience this phenomena) so I’m hoping it sticks and maybe (gasp) the other kids catch on by watching her success (I can dream, can’t I?)
November 25th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Oh, I know what the reality is of the North but I’m not worried because I don’t see them even doing what it takes to get a job there, let alone finding a way to travel to the job etc. But, they can dream on. My dream is that they actually get jobs somewhere, anywhere, and move out!
Brenda
November 25th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Good for you Jeff for managing to get to this age, find the “right” lady to marry, and create a good life. It’s a struggle, as well know, and I try to be patient about that with my own kids – but I don’t always succeed. You’re a great example so I’ll think of you when I need to draw on just an ounce more understanding and acceptance.
Brenda
November 25th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Homework is always a mystifying experience! Some get it, some don’t. I’m just thrilled to have kids now who do get it.
Have a good day,
Brenda